Yesterday morning we went out for breakfast. There are few things I love more than a bottomless mug of diner coffee, especially when our cupboards are pretty bare and we only have decaf. During the course of our breakfast, I couldn't help but overhear an interction of a neighboring table of patrons with our server. Apparently, our server forgot to bring out hash browns, which were included in their meal. He quickly apologized and brought out the missing potatoes and mentioned he thought they wanted something else. After he left, this couple launched into our server, complaining about his missteps along the way and how he should have known better.
Listening to them was ugly, which is a lame description but it's the one word that kept coming to mind. Ugly.They sounded so unattractive. And I couldn't help but think of times in the past where I've been uncharitable, which made me feel pretty low.
I was reminded of the book Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich (a great read, btw) where she writes about how Sunday mornings were the worst times to wait tables because the church goers were notoriously rude and cheap. Now I don't think church goers have a complete monopoly on rudeness to the service industry but it does make me wonder why that happens. Why can we be so gracious with our friends and acquaintances but so exacting and demanding to people in customer service? How is this okay, especially when many in this industry are probably struggling to eek out a living?
So to my companions at my local diner, I'd like to say that I know it's easy to be critical (see, I'm doing it now). Being gracious is hard when expectations aren't met. But regardless of how poor a job you may feel your server is doing, everyone deserves kindness and respect. So the next time your server forgets your fries, let your server know and leave it at that. There's no need for an editorial about his or her job performance. And repaying a mistake with kindness might even make you feel better about yourself, too.
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This morning I turned my radio off for most of my drive at work. I wanted to sit in silence and practice living in the moment more (see my blog post). As I was entering the parking lot at work, the car ahead of me had PLENTY of time to make a turn THREE times and didn't. I laid on my horn and said GOOD GOD harshly and loudly. They need to learn how to drive so they don't disturb my "moments" of peace and kindness, right? Yeah. It's amazing how quickly I can get to a space of criticism over things that are meaningless. I guess I need a lot more practice. Thanks for more reminders.
Coffee at night? Blech.
PS... love the new quote. I'm noticing you guys are reading machines! Have you not read Grapes of Wrath before or are you reading it again? I read Father Elijah years ago... I think based on your recommendation. I remember really liking it, but you know me, I can't remember a lick of it now. Oh, and I know you are happy with Lucy enjoying your all time favorite of Go Dog Go. Nice.
Thank you--my parents set such a good example for us in this, and it has stuck ever since. Plus, if you've ever been a server of any kind, it's easier to realize that getting ugly doesn't actually help your cause.
Spot on, Edie! Thank you for reminding us to be more gracious in our every day lives. I can totally identify with Diane--calling a fellow driver an "idiot" while singing along with the songs on KLOVE is something I'm guilty of.
As Lisa said, once you've worked in that industry, you have a new appreciation for these busy servers who are on their feet all day. And what customers/consumers often forget is that we don't know what people are going through or if they've had a crummy day. Maybe the waiter forgot the hasbrowns because he just broke up with his girlfriend or his dad died or any number of things could have gone wrong for him that day. As Christians, it is our responsibility to bring joy to these people's lives instead of making their day worse for being around us.
On a similar note, we have a cranky old cashier at our local Target. She never smiles or greets the customers and her tone is often short and snippy. I've made a habit of choosing her line on purpose so that I can smile at her and ask her how her day is. It has become my goal while shopping at Target to get this cashier to smile and hopefully to bring some joy into her day. Haven't gotten a smile out of her yet, but I'll keep trying ...
Diane and Alli - did you really have to mention driving? I was referring strictly to the customer service industry. : )
And, Di, I'm reading Grapes for the first time. I don't know why I've put it off for so long. It's quite good!
I recently had to pull this verse out of the attic and meditate on it.
Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint. (1 Peter 4:8,9)
Great post Edie.
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